aside You Choose All You Experience

It cannot be all rollercoaster highs and lows. There is lots of level ground. Lots of seemingly mundane. There appear to be large swathes of a regular field.

As it was put to me once ever so eloquently. Kansas is just 8 hours and 24 minutes of corn.

We are crushed with the seemingly mundane. Here is the secret. It’s not. You can take tremendous awe and wonder from what is around us.

When I sit with my son and we palaver, he is still grasping. He is still formulating the world in his head. Most of us drone about like we have it all figured out. That we know it all. We know nothing.

IMG_1442We have the privilege to walk the world. We have the privilege to experience what we CHOOSE.  You and I choose what we feel and how we feel it.

We can spend it on worry, fear, and despair. Or we can spend it making things better, people happier, and living.

Either there is a God or there isn’t. I don’t know but in my eyes I have a hard time imagining that we are all due to simple chance.  Maybe we are.  Every single day we find that the universe is this crazy, almost imperceptibly large place filled with more stars and planets than there are grains of sand on our own planet.  Just ponder that for a solitary moment.

Think of a beach, grab a pail, fill that pail with sand, how many grains of sand do you think are in there?  In a handful of sand there are approximately 400,000 grains. I’ll save you some math, there are approximately five hundred quadrillion grains of sand on Earth.

We have explored so little of what the universe can offer us. Most of us have experienced very little of what earth has to offer.  I have heard from friends that live in NYC that they have friends and family who live their entire lives on one city block in NYC.  Their entire life, on city block, thats 264’ x 900’.  Yet we will quickly decide we know it all.  The more I experience, the less I am confident in.  The less I will be surprised by.  The less I judge what makes others happy.  The less I assume to know about the world.

We are unhappy, by nature it is engrained in us.  We have this thought process to seek more and better.  This has led to our survival and our excelling in many aspects of life.  We are better because of it but it has also led to many people seeking to keep up with the Jones’. We are buying more to buy more because someone else already has it.  We are leading ourselves down unnecessary and unhelpful paths.  These are self destructive cycles because there will always be new, there will always be different, there will always be a reason to replace.  I have been there and still struggle with this from time to time.  I want versus I need.

I have tried to shift my want from an object to ideas.  I want knowledge, I want insight, I want to learn more.  About 2 months ago one of my goals was to finish 9 books in 2017.  I have only read one, but I have listened to 17 more.  That is 18.  I am addicted to this.  Whenever I am cleaning I am listening, when I am driving I am listening, whenever I have down time where my mind isn’t required to be fully present on the task being performed I listen.  Thus far I have been extremely pleased with this experiment and my ‘listening’ experience has covered a plethora of topics, astrophysics, philosophy, biography, self improvement, Stephen King, Harry Potter, and others.

Last night when heading to the grocery store I was finishing up for the day.  Earlier someone had texted me and said I hope you had a relaxing day.  I didn’t, far from it.  I got to the gym at 5:45am did some laundry and cleaning, taught Murph twice, had four appointments, performed Murph.


Then I went to my apartment where I finished packing the very last of what was left and performed a thorough cleaning with my sister. At the end we said a heartfelt goodbye, she got teary eyed and I think it was because a chapter was closing in both our lives.  I’m still going to see here a few times a week but it isn’t the same.  I went to my new home and unpacked more, it was about 8:00pm when I pulled into Wegman’s.  I saw the most amazing sunset. This would not be the most amazing landscape but the most amazing colored sunset.  Something I have experienced over 12,500 times.  The sunset is mundane, it is regular, daily, it is a guarantee.  But this one was special and memorable.

IMG_1446Red sky at morning sailor take warning

Red sky at night sailor’s delight

IMG_1459It could be special for a variety of reasons, the symbolic closing of a chapter, the opening of another, the representation that no matter what happens in our seemingly important lives that life itself will go on, one day without us.  We choose our experience, we choose all of it.  Notice I didn’t say we choose what happens, we choose how we react to it all!

What do you choose?

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