Hate Is A Heavy Burden

“Hate is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to die.”

Hate. It is a strong word. It is an ugly emotion. It is a wasteful emotion. When you hate someone or something, most of the time the person, place or thing doesn’t know you hate it. You are spending all of this time consuming yourself with an emotion that does nothing but tear you apart from the inside.

imageI have heard many times that when we see something in others that bothers us, it is because we see it in ourselves and do not like it or cannot resolve it. Think about something your mother or father does that you hate… Chances are you do it, too.

Hate is misplaced. Why do you hate someone? Because of something he or she did? Do you stop to think that that person may be dealing with his or her own issues, struggles, dilemmas, and he or she is trying to figure things out as he or she goes? Does that not matter to you because you are focused on what that person did to you?

Consider this: Do you know, for a fact, that the sole and entire purpose of that person’s decisions and actions were to hurt you directly? No, you don’t? Were you part of that person’s thought process? Do you know all of the circumstances surrounding the situation? Probably not, therefore you hate a person because an action wronged you – whether intentional or not. You feel justified in your hate and easily lose sight of any good that person has done for you or others.

I have decided to give up hate. It’s not worth it. I heard a story today about a guy who was robbing a group of people during a backyard bonfire. He was asked, “What would your mother think?” To which he hastily replied, “I don’t have a fucking mother!”As they were held at gun point, they tried to reason with him at which point someone offered him a glass of wine and some cheese. He accepted the wine and cheese and even put his gun away. He then asked for a hug from the group, which they gladly gave him. He left with a glass of wine and no one’s possessions.

In the wise words of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., “Darkness cannot drive out darkness. Only light can do that.” You cannot fight hate with hate. You cannot fight hostility with more hostility. Your first instinct entering a hostile situation is to become more hostile, but your everyday life is not a war. When encountered with hate, anger, hostility, or other aggressive and challenging behaviors, try to take a second or two to analyze. Why is this happening? Could I have done something different or better? Where is this person coming from, both physically and emotionally?

More often than not, you can bring more light to any situation by refusing to respond to negativity, by staying calm and maintaining control of yourself. For example, if people are yelling, talk softly and calmly. Force them to respond with quieting themselves.

Choose a different way than hate or indifference. Life is too short for all the negative garbage. Time to choose: Will today be awesome or fucking awesome?

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